MW3: Intel Warrior Class

The time for me to actually begin playing Modern Warfare is rapidly approaching- only another five days or so. To prepare, I've been watching dozens of gameplay videos to size up the map and get a general idea of new game mechanics. My self education resulted in this Intel-Warrior Class.

http://uk.ign.com/builds/call-of-duty-modern-warfare-3?d=007053062061047000000000082085096108114122000000000139140144000000000167

The main idea is to remain invisible while granting my team dominating knowledge of the enemy. The key elements of the build is the perk and package selection, while the weaponry can be tailored to individual taste. This class could easily transform into a sniper or a SMG rusher with changes in primary weapons.

However, I chose to stick with my favored assault rifles and went with the ACR because it remains awesome without the use of a performance enhancing focus. This gives me the option to go with two attachments: the silencer and the red dot. The silencer is essential for the invisibility of the class while the red dot is mainly preference. I find it the best sight for killing, and none of the iron sights really compare to the accuracy you can get with the red dot.

My secondary weapon is a Stinger, as I felt since I was mostly invisible anyway, I might as well shoot stuff down.  Naturally, I pick blind-eye as my first perk.

The second perk is Assassin- an obvious choice, and finally stalker to give me more mobility as I patrol. Frankly, none of the yellow perks appeal to me- the footsteps one might be nice once I experiment with it.

For gear, I am taking a C4 satchel for use in objective games, allowing me to effectively defend a point without actually being there- it can also double as a awkward, but powerful grenade. And the radar scrambler as my tactical, creating a nice blind spot on the map to distract foes for my teammates to kill them.

The support strike package is obvious, with UAV first to gain some intel, CUAV to blind the opposing team, and finally the recon drone to tag the entire opposing team- revealing them as if my team is made of ring-wraiths and our foes are wearing The One.

So while your kill-streaks and final kill count are not going to be the best on your team, you will be a major factor in the general performance of every player on the map. You can constantly keep your team informed while blinding your opponents- either by CUAV or with your Stinger. In battle, you are a ghost- no one will ever know where you are before it is too late.

Building a Modern Warfare 3 Class

Thanks to the IGN Class Generator, compulsive class creation is another symptom of my body's need for Modern Warfare 3. I can't help myself but create a class for every conceivable gametype and map. Not only that, but each class must also be versatile- capable of taking advantage from point-blank to at least medium-long. I can agonize over each weapon choice- each perk for lengthy moments. And the worst part is, all off my choices will probably change once I actually play the game. However, that isn't going to stop me from sharing my plans and playstyle.

Versatility is my primary concern in Modern Warfare, and that is why Assault Rifles are my weapon of choice in almost any situation. Only maps with an utter lack of long-sight lines will see me using a SMG as my main weapon. Of course, this is from my knowledge of the last two Modern Warfares, and I've noticed in gameplay videos that many of the SMGs are accurate to a rather ridiculous distances in MW3. This might see me use more SMGs than I ever have.

The sprint wildly, flank, and spray and pray tactic so popular amongst many of the YouTube players is ridiculous. I hold it in utter contempt. Where is the fun in it? There is no tension, no intelligence, just chaos and a reliance on reflexes and latency. I can't enjoy that playstyle, but since all the people who do are easy kills, they can continue their fun and I'll continue mine.

My playstyle is most accurately described as slow and deliberate. The only time I sprint is to cross open ground to my next bit of cover; I NEVER sprint around corners. Instead, I walk about the map with my gun at the hip to keep my vision open, but when I approach a blind corner or a popular camping spot- my gun is glued to my nose. More often than not- some moron comes sprinting and bunny-hopping around the corner with their Quick-Draw Pro perk. Too bad I have my gun already up, so your .2 seconds is nothing compared to my .0. Rat-a-tat-tat, a kill for me. I didn't even have to work for it. Thanks.

The best battles are the ones when you can dodge around cover after you and your foe sight each other. Mind games come into the picture, and intelligence, instincts, and reflexive skill combine to create the exhilarating confrontations that keep me addicted to the Modern Warfare series. Go left or right? Do I have time to toss a grenade or is he sprinting towards me right now? Or is he just sitting where I saw him, waiting for me to peek out? These exhilarating moments of unpredictability have me playing game after game.

Intelligence is my other primary concern. Not for myself, but I don't want other people knowing anything about my location. Ever. I can live without having UAV- I use it, yes, but I don't trust it. There are too many people with assassin out there to think yourself safe at anytime, so I never use UAV to locate threats, only potential kills. And I understand that's pretty much how it's working from the other direction. People are hunting me- I don't like that.

So the next thing I require in all my game classes, and perhaps the thing that most limits me, is the need to get rid of UAV. There are two reliable methods for this. The first being the Assassin Perk. It's easily the most effective, and it's only a single part of your load-out. But in a bit of deviousness, the designers of Modern Warfare 3 stacked the Perk 2 slot with several delicious options: Assassin, Overkill, and Quickdraw. I know I want to take advantage of options besides Assassin, so I need to consider the other anti-UAV method.

The stinger missile launcher. A sure-fire way to take down anything in the air, and much faster than trying to pop it with bullets. But then I don't get a back-up weapon; though, my primary assault rifle is flexible enough to make that a non-issue. Still, you need to switch weapons, locate the UAV, and lock on. That means I'll be defenseless for several seconds. Not exactly ideal, especially when UAV is called in so often, but that's the price to pay for the advantages of the other Perk 2 choices.

Due to my infatuation with several Perk 2 options, I am excited for the Specialist package. I can start the match with Overkill or Quick Draw and then after 6 kills, I get Assassin. Then two kills later my Quickdraw. It will be rough to lack an anti-UAV ability for six kills, but I can always switch to an Anti-Killstreak Class to take care of it if I die. I won't be able to get fun kill streaks with the class- but in exchange I have a perfect self-contained class my playstyle, perfect for any map and any game type.

Here is an example of my versatile class for Kill-based games.

http://uk.ign.com/builds/call-of-duty-modern-warfare-3?d=009051066000029060073000080084094110114123000000000000000000162153157167

The AK47, my first focus weapon, will take care of long range and medium range. The kick attachment and hybrid sight will improve my accuracy, so I can strike down targets at any range. But to give myself the edge in CQC, I have the powerful KSG 12. The damage focus and the grip will ensure my single shot kills over those SMG sprinters that catch me face-to-face.

I want a bouncing betty to drop behind me as a sort of flank protection- allowing me to focus on the front should I ever advance down a long fire corridor. It also allows me to set up a secure sniping site in case I see a window to peek out of for a kill or two. The concussive grenades will allow me to clear rooms and attack occupied enemy positions.

For my first perk, Slight of Hand- mainly for the ability to switch between my AR and shotgun as quickly as possible- the reload time is just a bonus. Perk 2 is the Overkill perk for my two main weapons. And finally Stalker to increase my speed while I ADS. I gain more perks through the Specialist package, first steady aim to improve my shotgun's power. Then scavenger to reload my favorite weapons, and finally Assassin to protect me from the UAV.

I'm still a bit worried about trying to get a decent kill-steak while being exposed to UAV. I suppose I will just have to test it.

Lusting for Modern Warfare 3

The game has been out for about a month now, and I don't have it. Strangely enough,  Xbox 360 and Call of Duty games are not standard issue for Peace Corps Volunteers. I find this strange, as I am uniquely equipped to fight the enemies of our nation's fantasies: I have internet at my house and a good amount of free time.

Yet I must instead suffer another three weeks before I return to my home hemisphere, so to waste some time, I've begun watching gameplay videos from the player base. Advance knowledge of new game mechanics and weapon performance was my initial goal, but now I am finding myself on an incredible journey into the black heart of Modern Warfare fan-dom. It was a place I avoided out of instinct, like when the unthinkable happens and a valuable object falls into the toilet bowl- you subconsciously believe that the brevity of your contact with that dubious liquid somehow protects you.

A toilet bowl is a perfect metaphor for Modern Warfare 3. The clear water at the top is similar to the normal, sane individual. Not too dirty, but incurably tainted by the downward passage of the vile. Amassed about the cup are your standard egomaniacs, prepubescent bad-asses, trash-talkers, and dudes who are so high right now ; all of whom meld seamlessly with that turn of the pipe wherein black evil clusters: racists, hacks, exploiters, and aggravationists. And I find myself shoving an entire fist down into that hole, searching for its most viscous secrets.

My first revelation has been the classification of gameplay videos. There are only a few genres of these, and once your realize this, the entire exercise loses its magic. Indeed, you can even tell which part of the toilet bowl the posting player is likely from.

Type A:  The "Expert"

These players are the 1% of the player-base. People who maintain their own YouTube channel, and whom actively surround themselves with a hand-picked posse. They are the country-clubbers, the private clubbers- most stop playing the game if there isn't a few of their cronies online. An environment highly tailored to their own success is a key proponent in their strategy.

That isn't to say these players are not skilled. But the dizzying heights they achieve are only possible through the actions of the skilled henchmen who keep the map relatively clear of rogue enemies that might disrupt the killing spree. Most, if not all, Type A players favor a randomly sprinting playstyle which relies almost entirely on surprise and ambush. Only a few of their kills are a result of an obvious superiority in reflexes or aim- the rest are the indirect results of the "Expert's" tailored environment.

However, Type As tend to be humble and relaxed- trusting their numerous victories and impressive Kill/Death spreads say enough.

They come from the top water.

Type B: "The Lucker"

Better lucky than good.  Anyone can make an amazingly lucky play, but a true "Lucker" is someone who views a miraculous event as evidence of their superiority over lesser beings.

 The five guys who were blown to pieces by his booby-trapped Care Package? They died because I rock at this game.

That knife I randomly tossed into the air and got someone with? I just knew he was there, man.

You only got six kills with your attack helicopter? I get eight with mine, ALL the time!

These players come from that top layer of brown. They might have floated at the beginning, but then they started to sink after they absorbed enough defeat and shame to overcome their barely buoyant ego. Generally, they are bad players who think any defeat is a result of a glitch with the game, or simply because the cosmos is out to get them. Just them. And any success, even one obviously unrelated to their skills, is a life raft they grasp for in desperation.

If anyone is complaining about game mechanics, he is probably a Type B.

Type C: "The Sniper"

If the video you are watching features a guy using a sniper rifle, he is probably a pure Type C player. These individuals dwell in the deepest black, often sticking to the porcelain in desperation long after the bowl is flushed and everyone else has moved on to Activision's latest bowel movement. They are "Luckers" whom have sank to the very bottom.

These players generally have the largest egos and a mouth to match. They KNOW they are awesome. And every time they lay prone behind cover and shoot people coming around a distant blind corner- this knowledge becomes more ingrained.  Eventually, you have the countless videos of no-scope kills and multiple kill shots. And each one is upheld as the gospel truth of "The Snipers" divinity. Yes, for those brief 20 seconds, the veil was cast aside and we mere mortals beheld Zarathustra's Superman. We watched in amazement as he spun randomly, fired in the general direction of his foe, and hit them via miraculous bullet spread.

They are often quick-scopers, too. Which means their are incredibly impressed with their ability to aim a gun at someone and fire. The PC versions of the Type C revel in their ability to use their mouse to click on something.

Naturally, we never know which team won the match, the K/D spread is never seen, and generally each new clip is from a new match. But pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! Behold what is awesome!

The Injustice of 1-1

Cyborg Justice is one of those forgotten travesties of the Sega Genesis. It sported a surprisingly deep combat system for a scrolling beat-em-up; but mediocre levels reeking of carelessness. For example, Level 1-1 remains one of the worst in gaming history.

The main selling point of Cyborg Justice was the ability to build your own cyborg. This amounted to picking a left arm and a pair of legs, each with a unique move or advantage. During the fighting, you could rip off an opponent's arm and beat them with it- or replace your arm with theirs. Successfully dismantling an enemy piece by piece eventually allowed you to switch out the legs if you so chose. It is a difficult process, as it requires precise timing and the cooperation of a thing actively trying to kill you.

Yes, that does sound cool, but then you begin playing Level 1-1.

 

The problem with 1-1 is this big hole in the middle of it.

This thing is impassible. Unless you happen to have a certain pair of legs: the pneumatic legs. For my cousin and I, pneumatic was not in our 5th grade vocabulary. We didn't know that those legs held a sort of piston operated by compressed gas. Even if we did, I doubt we would have known such legs offered the benefit of a double-jump, for the advantage of a gas piston in mid-air is dubious. As we possessed other forms of legs, we could only leap mournfully to our deaths like sentient robot lemmings.

A two-player team will still face death at this hole even if they have the correct legs. Notice the hole is so big that only one side of the screen can contain land. Unless you and your partner jump at the exact same instant, the leading player will be blocked by the camera which will not travel faster than the slower player. The edge of the screen, too slow in advancing, will be an invisible wall that sends you to the abyss. But these examples of endless player-death are not the real reason this chasm makes Level 1-1 the worst in gaming.

The issue is that it destroys the soul of the game. Cyborg Justice allows you to make any sort of cyborg you wish, but then in the first three minutes of game-play, places an obstacle that can only be overcome by a single body part.  You MUST pick pneumatic legs. If you do not, 1-1 is basically the last level; you can go no further. In this one, deft move, the designers managed to invalidate their game's coolest feature.The philosophy- the great idea behind the game dies right there, right at the beginning. And without that spirit to captivate the player, Cyborg Justice doomed itself to being ignored and forgotten.

5 IPs That Need the Lazarus Treatment (Revised)

Nostalgia is a powerful force. It dominates the film industry, and now reboot games like Tomb Raider and Bionic Commando are beginning to appear. The graveyard of our industry's history is full of things best left decomposed, but here are five dead I.P.s that could make a triumphant return to the realm of the living.

Featuring one of gaming's most charismatic protagonists: Yellow Ant.

 Look: Cities are boring. Ants are where it's at. SimAnt featured an unique simulation experience wherein players controlled the destiny of an ant empire through the heroic efforts of a yellow ant. By virtue of its unnatural color, Yellow Ant could make obnoxious whistling sounds and summon vast swarms of arthropods  to collect food, fight spiders, and commit glorious genocide against the reds! It was a game made for pro-McCarthy Entomologists!

Ants and Pac-man have similar diets.

In modern times, the entertainment value of this classic would never hop the bar set by today's IPs. But there is plenty of room for innovation here. Imagine, if you will, trading the top-down view for a GoW-style, over-the-thorax third-person look at life in your backyard. Envision the thrill of charging a swarm of red ants, or wasps, or grasshoppers with a brigade of your fellow mandibled killers! Part God of War battler, part RTS, part Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and part Animal Planet! YES! This game would have it all!

I want one of these in real life.

Next! Let's talk racing! One of the most creative racing games to come out of the PSX generation was the Jet Moto IP. They were basically Star Wars speeder bikes with a motocross feel. Their ability to hover graced the game with a flexibility of terrain generally not available to other racers. Ocean, broken highway, and sandy beach could all be found on one track! The sense of speed was excellent, and the other innovation of grappling towers, large poles you could hook a laser wire to in order to whip-lash yourself around tight turns, made this game a real blast.

I remember when these graphics were good.

Today, it just isn't enough to race. You need to shoot things, blow up parts of the track, or give the other driver cancer in order to capture the player's attention. So you need something along those lines. Personally, I like the idea of giving one thumb stick over to downward thrust, thus controlling your altitude over the track. This could be manipulated to maximize a run, avoid hazards, and potentially attack other players. Throw in machine guns, tricks, and the ability to pull people off their bikes with your grappler device, and you have yourself a real modern racer.

Introduced gamers to chains.

Who doesn't remember Road Rash? The iconic motorcycle racing game where most races ended up being a desperate battle for survival. Could you make it to the end of the race without your motorcycle finally exploding from all the wrecks? Would you crash within reach of the rather short arm of the law, and be wearing a pin-stripe flag instead of zooming under a checkered one? Could you avoid coming in last place after your 120kph crash sent you flying 2.5km from your motorcycle, while other racers mercilessly attempt to run you down as you huff it back?

Look at those mountains!

Unlike Jet Moto, Road Rash has everything it needs to make a glorious return to modern gaming. It already has combat! Punch a dude off his bike! Steal his 2x4 and then knock him off his bike! Give him an encouraging kick into an oncoming Ford Taurus (PSX version)! It's all game, baby! Hell, six-year-olds were taking out police officers in this series years before GTA ever hit the shelves!
All we need is some great graphics, you know, something like the Burnout series. Add in a multiplayer system like Blur but with the biker bar ambiance of the PSX Road Rash. A dash of character, perhaps some storyline, bike and rider customization. Boom. You have a best-selling game ready to roll! (Or combine with Jet Moto?)

Shouting men and bulging veins. Like a good friday night.

First person, third person, the shooting genre is saturated. It's ready for a reboot of this cult classic squad-er! You control a squad of four soldiers and attempt to kill the other team by riddling them with bullets and turning them to piles of ash. The game plays out like NBA Jam in the way you can switch characters to control, and all you can really do is shoot.. You have one attack, and you try to kill someone with it while navigating an obstacle heavy battlefield. It had charm! It had fun! And it had co-op!

Seal Team 6's daring raid is fully recreated!

Easily rebooted as a Live Arcade release, this game just need a graphics overhaul and a few new tweaks to the gameplay. Perhaps a few more classes, some airstrikes or something, give each class three abilities (offense, defense, and utility,) and make each teammate playable by a human over the internet. Boom, you have a multiplayer sensation just waiting to happen!

Sentience first. Then justice.

Man, oh, man! This was the single most interesting beat-em-up to ever grace the classic consoles. You could customize your fighter with a variety of body parts, determining your special attacks, abilities, and statistics. Not only that, but you could ruthlessly dismember enemies at any time during the game. Like that guy's saw blade hand? Rip it off and put it on! Need some jumping legs to cross the giant chasm that makes you waste like a billion lives in level 1-1? You know, the blatant design flaw that otherwise ruins an amazing game right at the start? Well, you might be able to steal them, but the chasm is still AS BIG AS THE DAMN SCREEN so you won't ever make it before you die in just the right way to spawn on the other side!

Administering justice, a 2v2 at a time.

Anyway, despite the memories of a single level that stuck with me for 14 years, the game is ready for a serious rehash. You will definitely need some better level design, but I don't think you can stray from the side-scrolling gameplay without ruining the spirit of the game you are trying to remake. Definitely want to upgrade the graphics, add more selection to the robot parts, and add combos and perhaps exp. points to upgrade your cyborg systems to give it the Castle Crashers flair that was so successful. The you'll have an arcade game that will sell well to people with roommates.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)

 

The second entry of the Sonic series was the first game I played on the Sega Genesis. Sonic 2 was a major step for the series and for the console itself. The vastly improved graphics and level designs are evidence of greater mastery over the hardware, as well as the general improvement of skill and ability within the Sonic Team. While some of the weaknesses of the first game are half-halfheartedly addressed, Sonic 2's success results from taking everything great in Sonic 1 and making it even better.

Emerald is more green than Green

The biggest addition to the series is the ability to spin-dash. No more getting stuck on little hills. Now Sonic can rev up and shoot out of anything. His new friend can, too. Miles "Tails" Powers is a two-tailed fox who tails Sonic throughout the game. As an NPC, Tails doesn't do much more than die in countless humorous ways, but when a friend takes up a second controller, Sonic 2 becomes a co-op platformer without peer. You and a friend will gleefully bound through colorful worlds much more active and dynamic than those found in Sonic 1. Without a human controlling Tails, you'll find tons of frustration in the new emerald grabbing bonus mode.

Tails: always a few steps behind.

You are in a sort of half-pipe and there are rings and bombs. You avoid the bombs and collect the arbitrary number of rings you need to pass to the next section. Succeed and you get a chaos emerald,  fail and you get booted out- forcing you to collect another 50 rings before the next checkpoint baton. It gets difficult quickly, and there is little margin for error; and then there is Tails.

He jumps nearly a full second after Sonic, he drifts around the course like he is drunk, he will knock into every bomb- everywhere. In the first few courses, it isn't a problem because the rings are clumped well enough for Sonic to get all he needs, but in later levels, you depend on the 20 or so rings Tails picks up to make the quota. Since you can't stop him from crashing into a bomb and losing the entire course for you- well, sometimes you want Tails to die in a fire.  Luckily, that wish will come true in one of the later levels.

You take the high road, and I'll take..

Strangely enough, Sonic 2 also features competitive multiplayer. You can can race against a friend on various abridged levels, attempting to finish a number of laps around the level before your opponent. It's a neat feature for such an old game, and while there are only a few courses, you can squeeze a good fifteen minutes of value out of it- more if you don't happen to be sober.

Altogether, Sonic 2 is the same package as the first game, but its better. The levels are cooler and they only have two acts instead of a monotonous three. The music is more jammin', the worlds are more populated, and there are multiple paths to take. Any Sonic fan who hasn't played this game in the last few years deserves to give it another look. You'll be downing Dr. Robotnik before you know it. And the best part? The series still hasn't reached  its peak.

Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)

I was a Sega kid. I wore Sonic T-shirts, slept in Sonic bedsheets, and read Sonic comics. It all began when I received a Sega Genesis - Sonic the Hedgehog 2 bundle pack for Christmas way back in the early 90's. As a tribute to my childhood icon, I will be advancing through the classic Sonic series in what limited chronological fashion I can manage: Yes- I might even play Sonic 3D Blast.

Before I begin, I am reminded of an anecdote my step-father told me about Sega.  I can not validate it. It was way back when Sonic the Hedgehog was about to be released in America. The game had already enjoyed popularity in Japan, but the Sega cooperation decided to hire an American to oversea the American release of the game. Effectively, his job was to handle the cultural journey of the game.

At a final meeting before the release plans were set in concrete, this American was making a presentation to the Sega board of executives. He was arguing that the game's translated name, Savage Beast, would not sell well to American audiences. Parents would not buy such a game for their children. He instead offered a more kid-friendly approach, pitching the name "Sonic the Hedgehog" we know today. At the end of the meeting, the Japanese executive stood up offended. They said that the name should not be changed, as it worked just fine in Japan. They stormed out of the office, and the American adviser thought he had just lost his job. Then, as he was politely showing them out of his office, the Sega president abruptly stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around.

"No. We hired you to sell the game in America. We will follow your advice."

Thus, the Savage Beast became Sonic the Hedgehog and transformed Sega into a arch-rival of Nintendo.

A pretty cool story of wisdom overcoming pride, assuming it is accurate. Anyway, let's get on with the review.

Sonic wants me to get on with it.

It is quickly evident that Sonic the Hedgehog is an early generation game of inferior hardware. In comparison to the Super Nintendo's genre-defining Super Mario World, Sonic the Hedgehog is primitive. The game lacks length, depth, and the crowd-pleasing save feature. However, the true strength of the Sonic series (at least in the early days) was incredible gameplay. Even with its rather spartan technical capabilities, Sonic the Hedgehog sports genius level design, precision controls, varied gameplay, and some of the best music of the hardware generation.

Green Grass and High Tides - of liquid hot magma.

The iconic first level, The Green Hill Zone, encompasses all that Sonic is and all he would become- a vibrant world filled with rings, enemies, loop-da-loops, spikes, power-ups, and jamming jams. Even today, blasting your way through these Sonic levels is nostalgic bliss. Then when the next zone is reached, the game throws the player for a loop, trading the speedy running with puzzles and dynamic platforming. Every Sonic zone is a unique experience, and the difficulty steadily ramps up as the game progresses. You can finish the Green Hills without ever losing your rings to a hazard, but by the last zone, you'll bypass five sources of instant death in less than 10 seconds- or get murdered by them.  This difficulty can become frustrating in later levels, as defeat means a full restart.

The end of each 3rd level is populated by Dr. Robotnik's newest, Wile E. Coyote-esque contraption to kill Sonic. You hurt the bad doctor by jumping into him. All of these battles are simple hazards with easily predictable patterns. In fact, the levels themselves are more of a challenge than any of the game's boss fights.


Like in later Sonic games- the acquisition of Chaos Emeralds is an important secondary goal as they provide the ability for Sonic to go Super-Sayian, becoming ultra fast and immortal. Of course, he can still be crushed or fall off the level, so the transformation can be a bit of a liability near the end of the game- assuming you can ever amass the 6 emeralds and 50 rings you need. The bonus game to obtain the emeralds is a odd sort of pinball maze. You must navigate Sonic through a rotating world, avoiding the dead ends that will remove you from the bonus round before you can reach the emerald. It's mildly entertaining at best.

I don't get the birds.

Sonic the Hedgehog is a solid game, yet it is not a pinnacle of gaming achievement. But it gave rise to the series that would later feature the greatest platformer of the generation. Even if Sonic the Hedgehog was a terrible game, which it most definitely is not, that would be reason enough to give it another play.

MekWars: Legends Faction Descriptions

The following pieces are short faction descriptions from the Battletech universe. They are for the next redesign of the MekWars: Legends Megamek server. It is a Jihad server, so the descriptions may mention events unknown to a person only familiar with the Mechwarrior computer games.

The first faction is the Federated Suns; however, this piece is not entirely my own: I edited an older version. I will post the original in italics, and my edited version will follow in plain text. All following descriptions are entirely my creation.

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Federated Suns (original)
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Arguably the most powerful and successful of all the Great Houses, the Federated Suns has long dominated the course of events throughout the Inner Sphere. A militaristic society combined with a willingness to continue to push the edge of available technology has kept the AFFS (Armed Forces of the Federated Suns) ahead of the pack when it comes to military strength, with a vast numbers of mech and armored regiments ready to strike at its foes.


Although briefly weakened by the Fed-Com civil war, the Federated Suns remains a military and economic powerhouse. Recent events have seen an increasing amount of independent actions by the rulers of the military "marches'' that make up the Federated Suns and signal a period of tension between New Avalon and the feudal nobility that form the backbone of the upper ranks of Fedsuns society and military.


In Mekwars: Legends the Federated Suns continues to play its traditional role as the arch-rival of the Capellan Confederation (Trinity Alliance) and the Draconis Combine. The expansionist tendencies of the march lords ensure these traditional rivalries will continue and no doubt will flame new rivalries with its neighbors in the Chaos March.

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Federated Suns (my version)
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Arguably the most powerful and successful of all the Great Houses, the Federated Suns has long dominated the course of events throughout the Inner Sphere.  A militaristic society combined with an energetic scientific curiosity has kept the Armed Forces of the Federated Suns ahead of its rivals in terms of martial tactics and technology. Its numerous mech and armored regiments are well-equipped, well-trained, and ever-ready to strike.

Although briefly weakened by the Fed-Com Civil War, the Federated Suns remains a military and economic powerhouse. But not all is as it once was. Recent events have seen an increasing amount of independent actions by the rulers of the military "Marches'' that make up the Federated Suns. This signals a period of tension between the ruling Davions in New Avalon and the feudal nobility that forms the backbone of upper-echelon Fed-Suns society.

In Mekwars: Legends, the Federated Suns continues to play its traditional role as the arch-rival of House Liao's Trinity Alliance and House Kurita's Draconis Combine. The new, independent expansionist tendencies of the march lords ensure these lasting rivalries will continue. Meanwhile, bad blood still curdles in the Lyran Alliance, and for the first time in decades, the Free Worlds League is not at war with itself. The board is cleared, the pieces are set, and the Davions are confident theirs are the strongest of all.

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The Draconis Combine
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The Draconis Combine is a modern day embodiment of Tokugawa Japan. The Coordinator, like the Shoguns of old, carefully balances a realm ruled by semi-autonomous Warlords possessing their own loyal armies. He is aided in this endeavor by spies, secret societies, ninja, and loyal retainers. The Dragon's subjects hold thoughts of honor and duty, driving even the criminal and outcast to passionate service of the realm. Most importantly, the spirit of the samurai lives within the souls of the Dragon's soldiers, motivating them to feats of bravery, sacrifice, and slaughter beyond what most would call sane.

Though possessing a society obsessed with the traditions of the past, the Draconis Combine has time and again proven resilient, flexible, and adaptive. The Dragon survived the Federated Commonwealth, beat back the Clan Invasion, and eradicated Clan Smoke Jaguar. The Combine accomplished all of this by maintaining the most diverse military force in the galaxy: the rank and file samurai of the provincial regiments; the hand-picked elite of the Swords of Light; the Kell Hounds-inspired Genyosha; the Wolf's Dragoons-inspired Ryuken; the misfits and outcasts of the Legions of Vega; the yakuza and warrior women of the Ghost Regiments; the Muslim warriors of the Arkab Legions; and most recently, the immigrated Nova Cat Touman. With the rotational training reforms begun under Takashi Kurita and continued by his son, Theodore, the average Draconis soldier commands an unrivaled repertoire of tactics.

At the dawn of the Jihad, the Draconis Combine finds itself, as always, surrounded by dangerous foes. Traditional rivals like the Federated Suns and the Lyran Commonwealth watch for weakness, as they always have. A new danger, the Ghost Bear Dominion, already enjoys the fruits of many Draconis worlds. The Rasalhauge Republic is gone, replaced by a hornet's nest of agitated Comstar forces. The Word of Blake denies the Dragon access to Terra, and the Crusader Clans are again stirring in the distance. The Combine will require all its strength to survive the coming storm. 

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Free Worlds League
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The Free Worlds League is the only successor state featuring a representative government with actual power. Unlike the other heads of state, the Captain-General of the League is answerable to an often hostile Parliament, and throughout the League's history, this fact has crippled the offensive capabilities of the ruling Mariks. Yet the tense political situation is also the root of the League's almost constant state of civil war. This inherent instability ensured the Free Worlds League remained a bit player in the galaxy despite its impressive size and wealth.

House Marik has maintained a political, traditional, and sociopsychological monopoly on the Captain-Generalship since the League's inception as the Inner Sphere's first successor state. There has always been a Marik at the head of the executive branch, and the few times when  that was not the case, the Free Worlds League met with disaster. Despite this political domination, the Mariks were never able to transform an offensive into final victory. Public favor would fade, casualties would rise, and Parliament would deny funding for critical war supplies. Also, when the volatile politics of the state would periodically erupt in civil war, the other successor states found they could safely ignore the Mariks for its duration; since any external attack would reunite the League, most shrewd successor lords funded the various rebel factions to stretch out each period of the League's impotence.

In Mekwars: Legends, treachery recently changed the path of history. Captain-General Thomas Marik was revealed to be an imposter, Thomas Halas- a fanatic of the Word of Blake. The League united against this non-Marik imposter, and successfully drove him out of the Free Worlds. The executive is now in the hands of a true Marik, and a recently purged Parliament is filled with his ardent supporters. For the first time in history, the Free Worlds League is united, and there is nothing holding the Marik back.

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Clan Wolf in Exile
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Clan-Wolf-in-Exile consists of the last remnants of Clan Wolf's warden bloc. Having fled destruction to continue their mission to protect the Inner Sphere, they stand vigil like fanciful knights on a border wall. They know that the Crusader Clans will come, and the fangs of the true Clan Wolf will be waiting.

At the opening of his Refusal War with hard-line crusader Clan Jade Falcon, Warden ilKhan Ulric Kerensky saw the possibility of his own defeat, so he sent Khan Phelan Kell and his warriors to the  Inner Sphere to become a seedling fated to survive the death of its parent. Meanwhile, the Lyran Alliance had recently succeeded from the Federated Commonwealth, sparking the Fed-Com Civil War. Khan Kell arrived as his father, the Duke of Arc Royal Morgan Kell, was desperately trying to keep his forces out of the coming violence. Duke Kell believed the clans would see the civil war as an opportunity, and his son's return to the Inner Sphere confirmed his fears. Reinforced by the might of the  Arc Royal Defense Cordon, the fleeing Wolves turned on their Jade Falcon pursuers and devastated them. The exiled Wolves were granted land on Arc Royal, and their civilian castes busily went about reconstructing their society while the warriors joined the ARDC in repelling other clan thrusts. Then in 3067, elements of CWiE joined Peter Steiner-Davion's final assault on Tharkad, thus ending the war.

One crises ended, the Jihad brought yet another. The Inner Sphere has erupted into chaos, and the exiled clanners will find themselves unable to sit on the sidelines.  With their civilians still hurriedly constructing a new industrial center, Khan Phelan Kell's forces have been forced to replace some of their lost mechs with Inner Sphere designs. Their pilots are still clanners, however, and cannot be underestimated.

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Clan Wolf
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Clan Wolf, throughout history, is best described as the supreme clan. Nicholas Kerensky himself became a member, and since that moment, Clan Wolf dominated the clans politically and militarily. Though previously a staunch Warden Clan, jealously and treachery led to the Wolves' near annihilation.  Vehement crusader, ilKhan Vladimir Ward, brought his Clan back to life in traditional clan manner- by killing everyone in his path. While no longer the giant it was in the past, Clan Wolf retains its reputation for fielding the most skilled and aggressive warriors in the galaxy.

The Wolves' previous leader, ilKhan Ulric Kerensky, surpassed even Prince Hanse “The Fox” Davion in political and martial brilliance. He was staunchly Warden, and paradoxically, led then invasion of the Inner Sphere in order to eventually stop it forever. Working schemes within schemes and subtly using the clans' natures against themselves, ilKhan Ulric saw to the delay of the invasion and ensured the clans stood idle while his ideological foes, Clan Smoke Jaguar, were wiped from existence by Operation Bulldog. After the defeat in the Great Refusal, the new blood emerging from the sibkos throughout the clans soon began to chafe under the enforced peace. This discontent gave power to the crusader movement now led by Clan Jade Falcon. Through political machination, the crusaders ousted ilKhan Ulric from power, and in a bid to delay the clans invasion even longer, he unleashed Clan Wolf on the Falcons in a clan-wide Trial of Refusal. The Wolves marched over broken Falcon mechs to the Jade Falcon Inner Sphere headquarters. There, through final dishonorable treachery, Ulric Kernsky met his end and Clan Wolf, briefly, ceased to exist.

Surviving that calamity, Vlad of the Wolves emerged from his broken Timber Wolf a different soul. His  aggression and warrior ardor became focused, the truly vile blood had bled away- he was pure warrior, pure clan. After a tumultuous path of vengeance through clan society, Khan Vladimir Ward is now the most influential warrior in the crusader bloc. Clan Wolf is rebuilt, seething for a fight. The stars of the Inner Sphere, enveloped in the Jihad, hang in space like ripe fruit.


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Clan Snow Raven
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The phoenix of the clans, Clan Snow Raven has twice returned from the ashes of destruction. Defeats on the battlefield have taught lessons many other clans refuse to learn: clever words and welcome gifts  can accomplish much, and a warrior defeated is more valuable than a warrior dead. Still, combat is the way of the clans, and the Snow Raven Touman maintains the strongest navy the galaxy has ever seen. The Raven's foes never walk under friendly skies.

The greatest moments of Clan Snow Raven's history have been times of relative peace. During periods of reconstruction, the Snow Ravens embraced the virtues of creation and preservation, both necessary to the revival of the clan. Their science caste developed an entirely new phenotype of warrior seen no where outside the Snow Raven Navy. Their Touman, often dangerously underpopulated, could ill afford the casualties inflicted by the infighting so traditional to the clans. Thus, their society embraced a new, familial philosophy, outlawing needless death in their Trials. As a result, Clan Snow Raven's warrior caste is sharpened with unrivaled efficiency.

It is the dawn of the Jihad. The major clans are at each others throats, the homeworld clans are licking wounds and bickering, the Inner Sphere is a maelstrom. Clan Snow Raven, so long denied its chance at glory, finds itself poised to strike. The Draconis Combine destroyed a recharging Raven ship. The Ghost Bears are traitors to the clan way. Now is the time for vengeance! Now is the time for victory! Now is the time for Clan Snow Raven!

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Clan Nova Cat
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Before a battle, a Nova Cat warrior, like the Greeks of old, will sit placidly before a flickering flame and seek omens. After the last foe has fallen, the Nova Cat will collect a token from the battlefield to carry with them for the rest of their lives. Indeed, Clan Nova Cat feels itself propelled by fate through the galaxy vastitude, and it is this spiritual nature which has separated them from their secular brethren.

While only minor players in the Clan Invasions, the Nova Cats were greatly impressed by their own defeat at the hands of the Draconis Combine Mustered Soldiery in the Battle of Luthien. In the samurai spirit of the Dragon's soldiers, Clan Nova Cat saw themselves. Later, the Battle of Tukayyid was ruled a defeat for the Nova Cats, though they devastated their foes like no other clan. Still, the dual defeats decimated Nova Cat forces, so at the urging of a prophetic Nova Cat Oathmaster, the clan began reconstructing its forces within the conquered Draconis territory and sparked diplomatic talks with the Combine. The creation of the Second Star League seemed to vindicate Nova Cat prophecy, and when the Star League considered its target for Operation Bulldog, the Cats suggested- through their Draconis allies- their old nemesis Clan Smoke Jaguar. Smoke Jaguar died, and during the Great Refusal, the Nova Cats were the only clan to side with the forces of the Inner Sphere, a betrayal that would see them exiled from clan space.

Not satisfied with mere exile, the Crusader Clans attacked the fleeing Nova Cats, arguing their betrayal warranted them no honor. Though it cost them the majority of their homeworld military, the Nova Cats saw their civilian castes safely settled within the Draconis Combine. The Clan had little time to rebuild before they were at war with Clan Ghost Bear, rescuing their new ally, the Combine, from grievous losses. The Nova Cats are now nestled in their new Inner Sphere home and foes surround. What do the fires forebode?

The Keys to a Top-Selling Competitive Multiplayer Game

The Keys to a Top-Selling Competitive Multiplayer Game

by Gage Lawhon

Introduction

The game industry does not have infinite room. Only a handful of titles can successfully conquer the market, as players do not have the funds, nor the time, to purchase all the games they might desire. For a new intellectual property to successfully compete, they must offer innovation, but they must also pay homage to the features current champions of the market possess. Halo, Call of Duty, Team Fortress, and Battlefield are prime examples of market dominating titles; however, they not only sell a large number of copies- they continue sales long after release with piecemeal content downloads. These later, high-profit margin sales are a direct result of a fantastic multiplayer experience.

In order for a competitive multiplayer experience to dominate the market, the game must succeed in three areas. First, the game must excite the player. This can be done by offering desirable customization options, healthy variety, and an element of chance and/or unpredictability. Second: The game must successfully addict the player to the multiplayer experience. Well-paced player character development, endless goals of achievement, and consistent psychological reward will succeed in creating this addiction. Finally, the multiplayer service must be maintained: A careful balance of player abilities must be preserved; the realm of the players must be policed; and the game itself must grow through attractive new features. Success in this process leads directly to increased sales, a larger player base, more demand for additional downloadable product, and high sales potential for an eventual sequel.

Excite --> Addict --> Maintain --> Profit

I. Excite

Successfully exciting a gamer is the essential first step in creating a top-selling game. A game must offer enough desirable features to attract a large number of players. But this essay deals exclusively with competitive multiplayer, so will deal only with desirable features within a multiplayer mode- namely, variety and customization; A large amount of variety can go a long way in luring a large player base, while features that allow players to customize their game can provide a sense of ownership in the product- thus increasing their likelihood of becoming loyal fans. A secondary benefit of a large player base is a quick flow of word-of-mouth praise. Gamers are social, and if their friends begin raving about a certain game, they will be motivated to purchase their own copy. So the larger and more diverse the initial player base of a game, the more grassroots advertising taking place.

Variety

Providing a flexible and varied experience is essential for a game's success. Players are individuals, and they each have their own unique likes and dislikes. A multiplayer experience with variety will allow a player to focus on their preferences while avoiding features they do not enjoy. Thus, a large, diverse population of players become attracted to the product because they can all find a purely enjoyable experience. Indeed, a competitive multiplayer game is a complicated organism, and variety must be the omnipresent blood that keeps it alive.

A variety of possible playstyles is foremost in importance. There must be at least three different playstyles for players to utilize, but the more the better; Multiple playstyles increase the number of ways players can interact with the game. For example, shooting games often allow for sniping, medium range versatility, and close range rushing. This attracts more players by offering something for everyone, and it ensures that players never become bored. Instead, they can change to a different playstyle to enjoy the same game in a different way.

Player objectives must also be diverse so as to excite a diverse population of players. Different game modes are similar to playstyles in that certain players favor one type over the other, so a variety increases the game's draw. The Halo franchise is well known for its traditional game-types, like deathmatch and capture the flag, but fans and staff have also created unique options like Griff Ball, Zombies, and Rocket Race. When players might tire of even their favorite game type, a plethora of other choices ensures the player stays with the game. The more a different objective type changes the pace, strategies, and essence of the game, the better.

The various realms of the player, often called maps or levels, are also important to game variety. They are the worlds the players inhabit during their multiplayer experience, so variety here is important to maintain a large player base. With the Call of Duty Franchise, post-released maps and levels can breathe new life into an aging game; Also: profit.

The player's world must be diverse in a number of respects. First, layout and architecture must change to offer both simplistic maps and complex labyrinths, single level and multiple, symmetrical and asymmetrical. Second, the colors and environment must change- a simple gray maze and a complex gray maze are still just gray mazes- the color, the emotion, the textures of the game worlds must vary greatly to give a true sense of variety. This will capture veteran players by countering game fatigue, while providing new players a cornucopia of experiences. League of Legends, while successful, fails in this respect, and thus will never enjoy anywhere near the success of games like StarCraft which employ many different maps. 

Finally, the game must vary on a round-by-round basis. Every match, every round, must offer unfathomable possibility. Luckily this is naturally created by the players themselves as they compete for victory. Their different playstyles, powers, and the way they interact with the map and each other ensures every game is brand new experience. The game's role is to foster this element of chance and to protect it. Any game mechanic which ensures a match will go a certain way every time must be avoided. The players must be in full control of their worlds, and players only accept luck and skill as their masters- not the game designers- not the A.I.

Customization

Allowing the player to express their own creativity in the game world is a powerful way to increase player excitement with a game. If a player is allowed to import his imagination into the game, then a sense of player ownership is achieved. To some degree, the game stops being “that game” and becomes “my game.” It is a significant psychological step. Players with a sense of ownership are more likely to play the game for a longer period of time, thus becoming hungry consumers of post-release content. 

Two of the customizable features are actually a boon for the game designers. The first being game mode design. The creativity of the players will always surpass that of the developer through the simple merit of numbers: the odds are a pool of several million people will invent something successful before a single person. Previously mentioned examples of this are Halo's “Griff Ball” and the “Zombies” competitive multiplayer type. Providing the tools of creation to players grants the game a huge base of amateur game designers at nearly zero cost. The only investment required is a small staff capable of observing the player community and picking out the great ideas from the thousands of others. Levels and maps can also be designed by players for a similar benefit. So, while waiting for the designer's official content, the player base is entertained by their own creations, thus lengthening the lifespan of the multiplayer experience.

Finally, the customization of the player character is an important element of the gaming experience. Whether it is in abilities, appearance, enhancements, or all three; allowing the player to own their own character is the single most powerful factor of customization. A player character is the gamer's avatar in the game world, and the more they feel in control of it, the more it feels like a precious possession. This feature alone has made the Soul Calibur series able to attract gamers who do not usually play fighting games. Deep customizations options also allow the player to customize their own playstyle at will, deceasing potential game fatigue while increasing ownership. This has proven successful in Call of Duty's load-out system and World of Warcraft's talent system. Both games maintain huge player populations, due in no small part to the power players enjoy over their own characters.

II. Addict

Once the game is played for the first time, the successful multiplayer game will attempt to addict the player to the game experience. This is accomplished through rewards, player character development, and marks of achievement. Short term reward, those given out for basic performance in each game, positively reinforces the player at all times. Meanwhile, long term rewards provide incentive for a lengthy career of play. These rewards result in the player character's development and customization- transforming arbitrary points into tangible prize. This gives meaning to the rewards and provides players with long-term goals. Finally, player achievement allows the player to continue setting personal goals long after the player character is fully developed. This system provides an endless form of advancement for the player (Their gaming ego is rewarded).

Reward

It is best that rewards come small and often, then punctuated by larger rewards with greater fan-fare. Naturally, the more exceptional the performance the greater the treat. Ideally every action, every item, every objective, every task results in some form of reward. A player whom is rewarded for playing the game feels validated by their choice of playstyle, and is simultaneously drawn to experimenting with other playstyles for their rewards. Similarly, both the losing player and the winning player must be rewarded for their time and effort. The winner will naturally be eager for another conquest, while the loser should feel that they accomplished something even in defeat so they will not be discouraged from playing again. Such a system is employed with success in League of Legends: Even players utterly crushed by elite foes gain reward, giving them the heart to return to the battlefield.

Development

The rewards become tangible when they can be utilized by the player to modify their avatar or even their playstyle. Not only does this increase the sense of player ownership, but it gives the player a feeling of progress and accomplishment. They are not just playing a fun game- they are getting somewhere. Various unlockables should be provided to the player as she/he continues to play. These prizes could be new abilities, new items, or even simple cosmetic changes for their avatar or profile. An even spacing of these rewards can string the prizes out for a long time, thus encouraging long term play by the gamer. An obvious example of well-paced development (and of the following achievement section) is Call of Duty's Modern Warfare 2. Thousands of players play that game every day, thousands of players buy every post-release content offering, and hundreds of thousands are waiting eagerly for the next entry in the series.

Achievement

Still at some point, every player will either finish or tire of their steady rewards and character development. This moment can be delayed for some time by skillful design, but it -will- happen. Providing the player with a nigh-endless list of tasks and potential accomplishments is a great way to maintain veteran player interest. In-depth statistics for performance, item use, ability use, and even how often the reward/development cycle has been completed can encourage a player to continue playing until the next content patch arrives and beyond. The longer they linger, the more purchases they are likely to make.

III. Maintain

Finally, the multiplayer experience must be maintained for the players, otherwise the gains from the excitement of release might be lost- thus losing potential consumers of later downloadable material. A small team must be employed to ensure the game remains balanced, the game world policed, and that new game content is created and added. It is an unavoidable expense for any game seeking to become a top player in the market, and remember, the more people who enjoy the game for a long period of time, the more potential purchasers there are for the next game.

Balance

A well-designed game with multiple playstyles, abilities, and objectives can still fail if not properly balanced. One playstyle can never be overpowering to any other, the players should never find a single ability to be the most effective, and no element of the map, level, or game type should give one player dominating advantage over another. It is essential that the game feel fair at all times to all participants. Failing in this respect will result in the rapid loss of players, and the game's essence will be perverted beyond recognition of the designers. Balance makes or breaks the multiplayer experience, it MUST be accomplished.

Police

Even if a game is meticulously balanced, the more vile elements of the player base will seek ways to cheat the system, either through hacking or exploiting bugs missed by play-testers. A team must be on hand to combat these seditious efforts in the game world because honest players will be driven away from the game. Modern Warfare 2 experienced such an event in 2010, and many players, notably Penny Arcade's creators, stopped playing the game. Though such exploits were eventually fixed, they still caused lasting harm to the game's health. To a lesser extent, inappropriate player behavior could be met with discipline as well, but players are generally good at dealing with non-technical issues amongst themselves. Though providing the players with an easy-to-activate mute function is always a good idea.

Add

Finally, the goal of the above efforts: the ability to create and market additional content for the original release. This new content enjoys a much higher profit margin in comparison to the lengthy development of the entire game, so the painstaking effort of creating an excellent multiplayer experience will pay off handsomely. However, this does not mean content can be thrown together and tossed onto the market- downloadable content must meet the same standards of excellence players have come to expect from the full game. Ideally, the new content will be of even higher quality. If the players deem the content as high quality and desirable, the next content release will be met with equal excitement. Thus a stable market is maintained until the release of the next full title- restarting the process.

Conclusion

Exciting the player, addicting them, and then maintaining the game- these are the proven steps to creating a top competitive multiplayer experience. The current market leading games are of varied designs and themes, but all share a similar formula to their multiplayer components. Any new intellectual property would do well to follow their example in the creation of their own games, as nothing maintains market presence like a successful multiplayer experience.

Angry Birds

 I avoided Angry Birds for a long time. Partly, I blame Hitchcock, though I also blame the fact that I've never owned a phone that responded to my touch except when I pushed the buttons. Ahh.. there was some kind of hilarious innuendo there, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Anyway, with the computer release of Angsty Avians, I nabbed a copy to give it a try. Like millions of other people, I found it elegantly simple, charming, and entertaining- for perhaps 3 minutes.

If you've played a free, internet flash game in the last decade, you'll be incredibly familiar with the premise of Angry Birds: you take a projectile, and you shoot it at something. Aim is set by choosing an angle and setting velocity, then you watch your beaked-ball fly at its target. This particular version of that tired convention at least tries to add a bit of depth to the experience. Several of the projectile types have additional abilities that can be activated after they are fired. Some gain afterburner, some clone themselves, and others poop explosives. No joke. 

The different bird types are also important in relation to the specific puzzle being tackled. The objective of each level is to hit pigs with your birds, because they stole your eggs. Fair enough. But like the piggies who thwarted the wolf, these little pigs build their houses of sturdy materials. Some of the birds can drill through wood, others easily shatter glass, and some poop out bunker-buster bombs to get through the concrete. If you are noticing a bit of repetition in my writing, good. If you find it annoying and boring, then Angry Birds is not a game for you.

For an incredibly cheap price, Angry Birds is not a bad game. You get some nice art, amusing sound effects, and passable objectives. Of course, it's not exactly a great game either. It requires little thought outside of trial-and-error, and excitement is entirely absent. However, if you have a fancy phone with a touch-thingy and you need something to do between ordering your coffee and getting it- or inhaling and exhaling, then Angry Birds if perfect for you. If you want entertainment for longer than half a minute, then you would do best to look anywhere else.